For women, the causes of anorgasmia are multifactorial, according to the Mayo Clinic. Medications, anxiety or other psychological crises, drug or alcohol use, gynecologic medical issues, and hormonal changes due to aging can all be culprits. Going to your gynecologist or other health-care provider to rule out medical causes should be the first thing you do if you’re distressed about being unable to experience an orgasm. And remember that a vast majority of women require clitoral stimulation, not just vaginal penetration, to orgasm. It’s possible that you haven’t tried what works for you yet.
If your vag gets a clean bill of health from your gyno and you still can’t climax, it’s worth investigating the option of sex therapy or coaching. One great resource for learning more about female pleasure and orgasm is Betty Dodson, world-renowned sex coach, private masturbation coach, and best-selling author. Other awesome organizations dedicated to the female orgasm include One Taste, which teaches a partnered sexual practice called “Orgasmic Meditation,” and OMG Yes, which makes educational web videos about female pleasure.
Remember, just because you haven’t had an orgasm yet doesn’t mean it’s never going to happen. It is not a hopeless situation, you shall over-come!
When it comes to female anorgasmia, according to Dr. Jennifer Berman of Berman Sexual Health, there are two main types of orgasmic disorders, primary and secondary. “Primary means a woman has never had an orgasm. Secondary means she has in the past but now she can’t due to any number of factors including sexual trauma, pelvic surgery, childbirth, or medication.”
And according to James Kashanian, a urologist at New York-Presbyterian Hospital Cornell, there are a few different ways anorgasmia manifests in guys. There are men who don’t orgasm and who don’t ejaculate either, because of either not enough stimulation, anxiety, erectile dysfunction, or certain meds like antidepressants. Then there is anejaculation, which is when a man can orgasm but not ejaculate, most often occurring in men who have had their prostates removed because of cancer.
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